Monday, February 11, 2008

I Miss My Little Girl

When I woke up this morning, I was full of energy and thought that this would be a great day in spite the fact that I'm still away from my Baby Gab. But when I logged in this morning and started seeing her pictures in my blog, I suddenly felt this heavy feeling and just wanted to burst in tears. I tried to control my emotions though since there are a few people here who'd see me and would wonder why I'm crying.

For other moms out there, I'm sure they would understand what I'm feeling now. It's been over a week since I left my little girl, yet it already feels like months. I miss my baby so much, really I do. I'm just not used to sleeping without her, or waking up in the morning not feeling her small body beside me. I miss her, damn I miss her. I don't want to cry here, it's too embarrassing, but damn I really miss her.

For the past days, I kept myself busy and occupied so I won't think about her too much. But you see, as a mom, anyone can't blame me if I'm feeling a little emotional whenever I remember my kiddo or see other babies with their moms and dads at the mall. I'm sure, other moms or even dads feel the same way when they're away from their kids.

So I'm thinking, if I feel so homesick now that I've been away for more than a week, what more if I pursue my plan of applying for work abroad? Oh, just the thought of it, makes me all the more emotional. Last year, I was too determined to apply for a job abroad this 2008. But now, I'm having second thoughts. What do you think, should I leave or should I stay? Do you think it would be worth it if I leave my little girl behind just to give her a brighter future? Or would it rather be an advantage if I'd settle with what I have now and see her grow at the same time?

Questions, questions, and still more questions. I need answers, all the answers! But for now, I'll have to wait for the day to be over, so I can go back home tomorrow and see my little girl.


melai said...

..hello mam phoebe..ahmm..sorry for being pakealamera..but i just want to answer your question if its worth leaving to give your daughter a better life..sometimes we kids (although i'm not a kid anymore..hehe)we don't usually ask for anything we know you can't's given that as a child grows up she'll be asking for some toys and stuff,.often times, they'll ask for expensive toys..sometimes you will not be able to give them because of financial issues..but parents should also know that we'd rather have our parents with us than not have them by our side and have expensive toys instead...besides, kids who grew up with their real parents usually grows up with proper dispositions and proper attitudes in life...i know i don't have kids yet kya i don't know much about them..but i've taken care and seen my sister and my cousins grow up..and i saw the difference between a kid raised by their parents and kids not raised by their actual parents.. :) hope it helped somehow.. :)