Tuesday, July 24, 2007

My Last Letter to You

The day I met and got to know you was one of the happiest days in my life. We started as friends and as days passed by we get to know each other even more. From that time and the days that followed, indeed my life became so meaningful because you were my inspiration. Until the day you said you love me and I said I love you too, that made me the happiest person in the world. How I wished the time can stop right at that moment so I can cherish it for a long time.

Days have passed and we were so sweet and full of love to share. You taught me how to love like I have never really loved before. You also taught me that I was special and that I only deserved all the world's greatness. You taught me that I was truly an angel from above, and that there are people out there who are worthy of my love. Everything went well between us and that was really great. But then you also taught me that love doesn't really last forever unlike in fairy tales and that those you love can lie to you.

When you said that you don’t love me anymore, it left me torn into pieces. Those words hurt me so bad, so bad that it made me the saddest person in the world.

Now I sit here and said to myself, why did I let myself fall in love so hard with you like you are the only man in the world? Why did I allow you to teach me all those things? Why did I let you hurt me so bad? You said I deserve to be loved and that you will take care of me, but why did we end up this way? Many days had passed by and I had a hard time getting through what had happened. But good thing I was able to realize and cope up with all the things that happened to us. Now, I understand why we had to say goodbye to each other, but not with the one inside me, our baby.

Now, I want to thank you for all the precious moments and magical times we had shared, as well as all the meaningful words you said to me that made me believed you will love me forever, that you will be there for me through thick and thin, and that we will prove to everyone that our love is strong and real. Even though we are no longer together, I want you to know that I'm not that mad with you anymore. Actually, there is no hatred inside me, only wishes that you will still be the good man that I used to know and that you will achieve your dreams even without me as your wife to support you all the way. But remember that I'll always be a friend to you, giving you that moral support that you need. I want to say thank you for everything. Though I still really want you back because I need you, we need you, sad to say I can't have you again for we have wasted our love so many times.

I'm really sorry for all the times I was so self-centered, but you know I had devoted enough time for you. Sorry for all those words I told you which discouraged you to love me even more. If only I could be given another chance to show you that I’m worthy of winning your love, and could allow ourselves to show once more how we really feel about each other and could have each other back, certainly we will never have to think about leaving each other again. I will fill your heart with so much care and love. I will even spoil you so that you will know I really do love you even though you are so far away from us. But, what else can we do, can I do? It looks like you really don't want us again.

Life for us still goes on, I will not waste my time hoping that you'll love me again, so all I should do is focus and take care of my baby. I just wish you will be able to find the right girl who will love you more than I do; the one who could really love you the way you want to be and whom you could really love and never ever leave. You may find her one of these days and she may be prettier, smarter, and funnier than me, and everything you want from a girl who will sooner or later be your wife. On my part, I just wish myself and my baby that we will always be healthy until I give birth to him. We will live a happy life together and promised not to leave each other whatever happens.

I really don't want to lose you, us, and the complete family that we once promised to each other and to our baby. I've tried to make things work out, but failed. I even asked myself why I'm always a failure when it comes to you. But no more self-pitying, so now I am already moving on and looking forward to more great things to happen to me. If you are already happy without me, I also deserve to be happy even without you. And I also deserve to be loved by someone who is not you.

4 comments:

yigae said...

bongga c mother! hehe!

chie said...

hey, gurl. bygones. ok?

miss you.

mina said...

bhem.. bhem... bhem.. just never worry your pretty head too much now, ok? think of the baby...

always take care.. i miss you in the "truest" sense of the word..

wag na umiyak, tusukin ko yan mata mo cge ka.. hehe.. jowk! :D

Anonymous said...

hi ate phoebe... here i am again... i don't know why each time i'm not in the mood doing my articles i always visit your blog... hmmmmm honestly... i'm always touched by the entries you post in your blog... masyado kong bilib sayo... most especially the way you deal with your life righ now... somehow.. nkakarelate talaga ko sayo... hmmmmm.. wish you the best... from --->kR.w/love